The Time Thief by J.E. Mountney


At first I didn't believe it. Well, you wouldn't. I knew I was somehow losing time. Eight hours of uninterrupted sleep left me tired and irritable. I never managed to finish any of my tasks at work by the deadline.


Making dinner in the evening didn't seem to leave space for going out or even watching television. But I blamed myself. I told myself I was getting old, that I was slowing down, that I would have to adjust and try to take on fewer jobs, expect less, sleep more.


Someone at work mentioned, quite casually, having heard of time thieves. We were standing around the chilled water dispenser, the way you do on a warm morning. The speaker was a woman who claimed that celebrities who held down at least two jobs and four boyfriends as well as having homes and tables worthy of inclusion in glossy magazines, did it all by stealing time from their less fortunate sisters, so that they had more than twenty four hours in any one day, leaving their victims with less.


I listened, and wondered if it would apply to men, too. Idle speculation; a fancy I hadn't time for, quite literally!


But that night I caught him. He looked so sleek and well fed, like a pampered cat. He had a moustache rather than whiskers but the general effect was the same. He was tiptoeing through my apartment, humming to himself and making little chopping gestures with his long delicate fingers. I shouldn't have been awake but a police car and an ambulance were chasing down the street, sirens blaring, flashing lights bathing the room in a blue glow.


I'm not sure how I managed to grab him. I suppose he was startled, and had never expected to be caught in the act. He was all smiles and apologies and soothing words. When those didn't work he tried soothing strokes. I accepted those, without prejudice, of course. His fingers felt even better than they looked.


Eventually he realised I was not going to smile sweetly and say all was forgiven and forgotten. Nor was I going to permit him to continue - with the theft, I mean; the stroking was another matter entirely. So things were at a standstill. I couldn't exactly call the police. Imagine it. "Officer, there's this guy in my bedroom and he's been stealing my time." On second thoughts, don't even imagine it.


The standstill was a metaphorical one. It didn't extend to our bodies, which were continuing a conversation without us. My own fingers seemed inordinately interested in his pointed ears and the wings folded against his shoulders. Did I mention that he was wearing tight jeans and not much else?


He sighed and kissed me instead of talking. When I managed to breathe again I took a really good look at his gleaming skin, his elfin features and his eyes that were somehow the wrong shade of brown, even in the semi-darkness.


"You, you're, you're a..." I didn't feel able to say it. He laughed and continued to stroke.


"Wait! At least tell me your name! I don't think I want to go further with an anonymous stranger." I wanted to talk to him as well as whatever else we were doing. He laughed again.


"My name? I think not! Names have such power, you know. You could call me 'darling' or 'sweetheart' or just 'come here' would do. And we aren't exactly strangers, are we? After all, I've been living your hours. And don't start again - I've said I'm sorry. I got carried away and took too many but it's too late now. They're mine."


Power? I remembered stories like Rumpelstiltskin from childhood tales and began to think. Not hard. Most of my mind was taken up with responding to my beautiful thief in actions rather than words.


I called him all sorts of names: ordinary, everyday names like John and Steven; unusual names from history or literature like Tristram or Brutus; names with fae connotations like Robin or Oberon. No luck.


Then I realised, all of a sudden. We were locked in an embrace and he was in no condition to escape when I whispered his name in his ear. He gasped, possibly from my ministrations and possibly because I'd unlocked his secret.


Then he broke away, muttering curses, and leapt onto the windowsill. He was quite naked now, and a perfect sight. The window was open and he launched himself on those lovely wings. He flew like lightning half way to the moon and back before I had time to blink, then crept down from the sill into my room and curled up on the bed again.


The next half hour or so was bliss. I thought I'd lost him, you see.


Afterwards, he murmured into my hair, "I don't know how you worked it out. You know I'm in your power now, don't you? What's mine is yours, and that includes your stolen time. But you're responsible for me, and I won't leave. I have no other means of support!"


As I watched him, dawn was breaking and I could see him clearly. The glow left his skin. His ears rounded like petals closing. His wings vanished or were re-absorbed. His eyes were still brown, this time like peat pools. He was still incredibly beautiful. I had no objection to being responsible for such a creature.


So that's how matters stand. He's quite high maintenance. I have to buy him gorgeous clothes to make up for the lost wings, he likes outlandish foods, exotic sex toys, and satin sheets. But he was right about my time returning to me. I'm money poor and time rich, with a boyfriend called Procrastination, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

 

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